Episode 2 - Looking for a Few Evil Minions

[Originally posted on LezBang; 1/2008]
Evil Propaganda Warning:
Rusty Patti Blog hacked by Hell Beaver!

Thanks to Loveshtoned pointing out my habit of leaving DNA behind wherever I go, I am out of the running to be Rusty’s sidekick. Thanks a lot, Love. You leave me no choice but to go over to the dark side. If Rusty is out being a superhero, she’ll need some villains. That’s where Hell Beave comes in. Wearing only her super bra and boy briefs, Hell Beave is out to kick some camo-clad ass.
Beware of Hell Beave’s right boob, Rusty…it shoots glass-shattering lasers that will smash your specs to smithereens and render you blind. The left one delivers fire bombs that will light your hair on fire and send you running for the toilet to douse the flames. Then there’s the blue belly button ray…that does some messed up shit. I have one more secret weapon inside my boy briefs, but that’s gonna be a surprise.

So how ‘bout it, Bangers? Who’s groveling to be Rusty Crusty Patti’s sidekick and who’s gonna kick her ass? Please list your superpowers and let’s get this party started.

Rusty Patti Reseizes her Blog!


Hell Beave threw down the gauntlet resulting in witty repartee between hero and villain:

Rusty: It’s on
Hell Beaver: Bring it.
Rusty: Consider it brought.

The LezBangers were mesmerized by the specter of the two heavy weights going toe to paw.

Vettey, was especially pleased by the potential nudity: “The good thing about this supervillain is that she has to be topless for her powers to work. It's the only way, really, as she is accident prone and wearing something would cause all those superpowers to bounce back and harm her.”

The powers claimed by Hell Beaver gave Westcryer only momentary pause, “Rusty - you may not want me for a sidekick, but I am still going to save a couple cans of WHOOP ASS to open up on Hell Beave as a matter of principle - that whole bellybutton ray thing just skeeves me out.”

Some Bangers, previously committed to Rusty Patti and the Side of Good, wavered. Minnie offered Hell Beaver her snoring as a potential weapon and Pugs expressed an interest in accouter, “What are the perks of joining Team Beaver? I know up front I can't wear a cape if I go play with Rusty.”

Neo went renegade ho, “I owe no allegiance, and will whore my services out to the highest bidder. I think my talents are proven and viable. I'm here; ready to take your calls. And I can sing too.”Mojopo went all terroristy, “Do we get to behead anyone, Beaver? Let's tie up Rusty and make a tape for Al Jazeera.” Image MTV was clearly on the side of good.

Battle lines were drawn. Next step, theme songs at 20 paces.