Episode 1- Looking for a Few Good Bangers

[Originally posted on LezBang, 1-2008]
Hi Bangeroos. How’s your week been? Mine’s been quite eventful.
Apparently a super hero's job is never done. I’ve been choosing taglines, trying to figure out what I need in a sidekick, YouTubing theme songs, and looking for a shirt and accouterments.

Finding clothes has been especially problematic. I thought I'd go into a department store and see what Ken wears. Ken’s wardrobe sucks. I’m serious. His jeans fasten in the back. Did you all know that? I did not. I am sticking to GI Joe fashions from now on. YO Joe. But now the main event. I need a sidekick and I hope you can help.

[Click to enlarge any panel]

After this blog posted on LezBang, Bangers from all over the globe submitted themselves as well as other Bangers as cannon fodder sidekick material. The question/answer session brought up many relevant issues:

Neo wanted to know, "Will the sidekick have pants that button or snap? In the front or the back? This is important."

Rusty: The sidekick outfit snaps in front. No Ken crap. There is also a helmet. No capes under any circumstances.

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Mojo, had a relevant point, "I see you have been preparing for Armegeddon, and this pleases everyone. Especially me. Are you at all concerned that your sidekick might get Raptured before you stop all of the eventual destruction and mayhem? Make sure you pick a real satanist, 'k? Git er done."

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LoveShtoned pointed out obvious flaws in some of the submissions, "Beav can make any gadget you want but no doubt she'll screw up on of her fingers in the process, blood everywhere and a DNA lead to follow."

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Some Bangers (Vettey)offered sexual favors to boost their chances of being chosen
Rusty: "No sex between super heroes and sidekicks. If they have sex then party B is a love interest not a sidekick. (see Lane, Lois)"

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Skeeter G was ready, willing, and able. G even offered to don a cape, "Never fear......Skeeters here! And I'll wear a cape or a helmet."
Rusty: G. NO capes. I'm not kidding. Those things are death traps.

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Jaclyn's resume was quite impressive. I was especially moved by her candor in admitting, "I’ve done time in a Turkish prison. I thought I should be upfront about this. "

You'll see how I solved the dilemma of winnowing down the field in a future episode.